3 am thoughts

hello my blog
it's been such a blast and continue being grateful with all the blessings that Allah swt gives me everyday.

LIFE UPDATE :

  • i got low UTBK score twice
  • depressed with all the pressure that basically my own thoughts
  • thriving with ambition
  • than, everything fall apart when the result got exposed, i got rejected AGAIN
  • few rejections and i handle it pretty well, basically numb
  • apply to private universities
  • yeay accepted, but again i want more
  • apply to malaysia's uni
  • waiting for the results... hopeless, everything is clashing
  • I GOT ACCEPTED IN ITS 
  • shit just got real
  • but then I GOT ACCEPTED IN UPM
  • none of these uni is my first choice, never even cross my mind that i have to be away for months from my parents
Now, i'm living in malaysia alone.

luckly indonesian population in malaysia is pretty big, so kampung feel closer,

its already 2020, with 2019 became the most challenging year of my life.

i started out with ambition of a fighter and ended the year with something that my old self can not even imagine.
i experienced happiness, lost, sadness, comfortness, left-out, warmth, glory... what else,

my brain is not functioning that well 

i hope this year you will feel the best of self, no more insecurities, no more self-deprecating, and continue living as positive as you can be.

basically i hope you can surround yourself with people that loves you no matter what situation you are currently dealing.


that's it NGANTUK NJIRRRR 




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